Lacy's Gamerbabble

Ooops...

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 15:04:35 GMT

Been gone for forever. Going to be getting back. Four million bits of news. No time to disclose them right now with the attention they deserve, so just settling for "I'm Back, lots of news, will update for reals later."

Love you guys.

Got to get to work now.

Ooops

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 02:45:20 GMT

Been back online for a while, and somehow totally managed to forget I had a livejournal. Or something. Ok, that's funny. Livejournal's spellcheck doesn't like livejournal as a word. Er, anyway. Here's a pointless meme to distract you from the fact that I've been gone!

ABC's

A
- Available?: Looks that way, doesn't it?

- Age: 27

- Annoyance: Many, many things.

B
- Beer: Guinness; on tap when I can get it that way.

- Birthday: August 31st

- Best friend(s): Liss & Talcott (There's sort-of a third, but they're in their own category.)

- Body part on opposite sex: Opposite sex? Don't much care.

- Best feeling in the world: There are so many, really... When you're in a frame of mind to notice them.

- Blind or deaf: Hard choice, but I lean ever so slightly toward blind.

- Best weather: Warmer than this! Urgh!

- Been on stage?: Yup.

- Believe in magic: *bursts into song* "And you find magic from your god and we find magic everywhere!"

- Believe in Santa: Santa is a frame of mind!

C
- Candy: I rotate. For a while it was Snickers. Now it's Heath bars.

- Color: This really particular shade of red... or this really particular shade of blue (you wouldn't believe what the right shade of blue does to my eyes.)

- Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate!

- Chinese or Mexican food?: Usually Chinese. Oddly enough, I often crave Chinese food when I'm sick. Sweet & Sour Chicken, but only from this one place that uses a sauce unline any other place I around here.

- Cake or pie?: What kind of cake vs. what kind of pie? I mean, if it's German Chocolate Cake vs. Cherry Pie, it's cake. Now if it's White Cake vs. Pecan Pie, it's pie - see my point?

- Continent to visit: Europe and Austrailia are both very firm contenders. I've never been to either.

D
Day or night: I'm a night owl when I can set my own schedule, but really I'm a twilight creature... I love dawn and dusk.

Dancing in the rain: Especially with the right someone.

E
- Eyes: Are a very changeable blue. I range from a slate or gunmetal grey to an almost cobalt blue, dependant on quite a few factors.

- Everyone's got: A story.

-Ever failed a class?: Mostly through lack of being there... it's a long story and in retrospect I think I was sort of manic at the time. Probably hypo-manic mostly, as I was actually sleeping on a rough sort of not-normal cycle.

F
- First thoughts waking up: Truthfully, it's an inventory of if anything is unnaturally sore, followed by a vague attempt to remember if there's coffee in the pot, or if I have to get up quickly enough to make a new one.

-Food: Yes please. (What? Fat girl = too much love of food.)

G
- Greatest fear: Years ago, I would've said something about facing my only-slightly-lesser fears alone. These days I think my greatest fear is being unable to master myself.

- Goals: In the intermediate term, getting my Medic. In the longer term? Stabilizing my life enough to have something approaching a "normal" family - partner, kid(s), job, the whole nine sickening yards. Ye gods, I've become so mainstream in my rapidly-approaching-middle-age.

- Gum: Trident, I guess.

- Get along with your parents?: Rather well, actually.

H
- Hair color: Greyish brown. I need to dye it again.

- Height: 5'6" - uhm, ish? I think? I can never remember.

- Happy: Depends on the day, and if you mean in general or in regards to specific things. *shrugs*

- Holiday: Christmas and/or Halloween.

- How do you want to die?: In my sleep. Failing that, quickly and near-painlessly, like my Grandpa did.

I
- Ice cream: I always say Chocolate-something-or-other. But the truth is that I'm an absolute sucker for Butter Pecan.

J
- Jewelry: In a "not-wearing-much" phase right now. Not a ring or a chain. Not regularly, anyway. So I'm hard pressed to pick a favorite.

K
- Kids: Someday, if my life gets stable enough.

- kickboxing or karate?: My lack of balance probably precludes either of these. That said, there's something to the tradition of Karate that appeals to me slightly more than the punchiness of kickboxing.

- Keep a journal?: At times. I'm pretty open-book with my online stuff, but there are times when I keep a paper journal that's very... limited in who has access to it, when, and why.

L
- Love: *insert possibly unexpected sentimental speech here* What? I can't love love? Just because I'm lonely and sometimes prone to depression doesn't mean I don't think that love is one of the best things in the world.

- Letter: My mother is very fond of computer-printed postcards. They are usually hilarious and a great day-brightener. Typical letters? Not since Highschool or so, when I actually was dating a boy. So that says how long ago in me-years it was.

- Laughed so hard you cried?: Been quite a while. But it's an absolutely amazing feeling.

M
- Milk flavor: Chocolate, but every once in a while I've just GOT to have strawberry!

- Movies: Many. Hmmm.... A few contenders - Stardust, Underworld, Last Unicorn (yes, I'm serious), In & Out, Enchanted, Imagine Me & You, Lord of the Rings... I could go on for quite a while...

- Motion sickness?: Not generally.

- McD’s or BK?: McNuggets!

N
- Number(s): 7, 12

O
- One wish: To able tolove as much as I have inside me, and be loved in return.

P
- Pepsi or Coke?: Coke.

- Perfect pizza: Let's see if I can remember... Pepperoni, Ham, Double Onions, Black Olives, Bannana Peppers, Bacon. I think that was it. Or Ham & Pineapple. I always love that.

-Piercings: None anymore.

Q
- Quail: Uhm... like a Bobwhite?

R
- Reason to cry: Don't get me started.

- Reality TV: Big Brother - is that still on? Survivor, sometimes.

- Radion Station: 102.7, usually.

R
- Roll your tongue in a circle? Not how you mean. But I can generally do the tie a cherry stem into a knot bit, and I can often manage the unwrap a starburst trick.

- Ring size: I have no friggin' clue.

S
- Song: I will not admit to that here.

- Shoe size: Uhm... I'd have to go all the way over *gestures* there *end gesture* and pick up a shoe to tell you. I'm totally lazy right now - working on getting a little drunk - so, you'll have to live with the suspense.

- Salad dressing: Ranch. Or sometimes Thousand Island.

- Sushi: Salmon Sashimi!

- Strawberries or blueberries?: Betwixt those two I have to go with Strawberries. I like Raspberries and Blackberries better still, though. And Mullberries rock.

- Sport: to watch: Football, Hockey, Baseball, rarely Golf or Tennis (Baseball is awesome live, as are Hocky and Football.)

- to play: I'll try just about anything. I'm very athletically inept, but I really like trying to play.

T
- Tattoos?: I have the design perfect in my head. I could even get it with my tax refund, except I'm still lifeguarding, and I'm not getting a tat only to have it ruined because it's repeated marinated in chlorinated water right after I get it.

- Time for bed: Lately it seems to be around midnight or 1. The night owl is coming back again.

U
- Unpredictable: My mood state, the weather...

V
- Vacation spot(s): Mountains or Sea.

W
- Weakness: That would be telling. I'll only give you "good books".

- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: Probably Talcott. Although Liss and I are often mentally on the same wavelength, even though we don't actually act alike a lot of the time.

- Worst feeling: A bad downswing/depressive streak.

- Wanted to be a model: *snort*

- Worst Weather: Cold. And if I have to drive, ice/snow.

X
- X-Rays: Lalala, if we're counting other scans too, not only have I had 'em, I've had lots and lots!

Y
-Year it is now: 2009

-Yellow: Bellied.

Z
- Zoo animal: Tigers! (And sort've polar bears. I will not say wolves, because out of all of them I most want to think of wolves only as being in the wild, even though I want to think of all of them as being in the wild.)

Also, I'm working on getting drunk right now. I shouldn't, but I'm doin' it.

Wow... just... wow...

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 01:29:55 GMT

So... yeah...
I was struck today with one of those moments today where I was totally and completely grateful to have the mother that I have.

Ok, I admit. Usually there's a reason for even a "good kid" to come to a moment like that outside of a crisis. There was no crisis - well, not for me.

See, let me explain this by contrast. My mother? When I called this morning to tell her that (owing to the hello!lots of snow) I didn't think I'd be making it to my Dr.'s appointment today? Said something along the lines of "Oh, good. I was going to call you later and tell you that you probably weren't going."

My best friend's girlfriend? Her mother? Ok, granted, when she decided that the roads were too bad to drive all the way to BGSU (this is before she found out her classes were, in fact, canceled for today), she came here instead of going home. Now, a part of that is that to get here she drove back over much better roads than she would've going back to her house. And to be fair, she didn't tell her mom that she came here instead of heading to BG.

But her mom? Yeah. Still snowing like all hell, their road is Very Nasty in when there's snow, the county is UNDER A LEVEL TWO SNOW EMERGENCY. And her mom? "Drive home. Right now. This second. You had damn well better be in that house by two o'clock." And so on and so forth.

So, basically, being In Control of her adult daughter's life (the car is not in the mother's name, btw) takes precidence OVER HER OWN CHILD'S SAFETY.

None of us can understand this. I'm just glad she didn't get in an accident on the way home... *sigh*

shrugs

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 15:45:38 GMT

At this point, I'm going to shrug and say, "let it snow... I guess."

I've already had to reschedule my Dr.'s appointment. If it keeps up, they may cancel 'medic class for tonight. And I don't have to be to work until 1500 tomorrow.

On the other hand, I am wondering where the hell super!snowy winter like this one was when I was a kid and could've properly enjoyed it. *pouts*

Just in case you really wanted to know...

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 00:07:31 GMT

Not really meaning to be cryptic...
(Those who have been on it might understand why, even without me explaining...)
I am really, REALLY, hating Welbutrin right at the moment...

OK, OK...

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 15:15:10 GMT

So, I've held you guys in suspense long enough... (although, I'll be in suspense for a bit longer)

I had an Interview this morning with North Central EMS.

The actual Interview went fairly well. In fact, I was given the impression that, if the checks and whatnot go ok, I have a very good chance of getting the job.

Trouble is, I'm worried about my driving record check. I know my record isn't spotless, and I'm not sure how many points I have at the moment. I tried to get on the BMV website and check, but it's not working at the moment (big surprise, eh?)... *sigh*

So the big thing to screw me over is likely going to be a stray speeding ticket. Way to go, leadfoot.

Anyway, that's the sooper sekrit mission. :-) I should know one way or another within a week or two. Hopefully.

Fun part was that the station I was interviewed at is the one that one of my classmates runs at. And he was on shift today. So imagine his surprise when I ran into him in the hallway. Heh. Hi Jerry!

Not a survey. I swear.

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 00:13:05 GMT

Ok, first off, tomorrow morning is my sooper sekrit mission. Don't you wish you knew?

Second: Why didn't I know there's a Rufus Wainwright song called "Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk"? Dude! I may have a new favorite song!

Third: I am evidently a weeeeeee bit MANIC today. Uhm, yaye?

Fourth: Uh... I forget fourth.

Fifth: It is really REALLY FREAKIN' COLD right now.

Sixth: I finally got a haircut today (thanks Mom!) - it's been, like, since October? It was starting to look like I was trying to grow it out. I swear you could've knit one of those annoying purse-dogs from the volume of hair that was cut from my head. I look like the way I think of me again! (Which, granted, with the hair farther away from my face emphasizes that I need to lose some weight again - I'm up to a bit over 100 kilos. You can do that conversion yourself, it's actually very easy once you have the formula in your head.)

Seventh: I feel like I'm doing a survey. Does it look like I'm doing a survey?

Eighth: I am not Henry the VII, I am not.

Ninth: Baseball, anyone?

Tenth: Ok, now I'm just being silly. And I can't remember what the other thing was I was going to say, so, er, yeah. Entry over. *nodnod*

Short version?

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 05:02:58 GMT

On the 30th of October, we moved to Norwalk. We were still in the process of moving on the 31st. Some Samhain for me -- we kind of all ended up at each other's throats. Shortly before then the waterpark ended up with a new director: Raphael. Not too long after that both Liss and I were demoted back down to Lifeguard from Headguard. For no good reason. Not for any "bad" reason either, mind you. Upon asking, both of us were give essentially the same reason: "I have not seen enough of you. I cannot judge what I cannot see." Yeah... Sure buddy. Whatever. Come out of your office when we're on the floor why don't ya?

Anyway. Not long after that, he disallowed both of us from working EMT shifts, because we "were hired as lifeguards, and that is where [we are] needed. Which ended up forcing Brad to hire one - and now two... I think three more new EMTs. Although one of those is Kevin -- a guy from our Paramedic class, AKA Prince -- so that's kind of cool.

It took FOREVER to get our Cable and Internet back, largely because our schedule didn't mesh with available days, and partly because of runaround with Time Warner (personally, I'm not too happy with them). We finally got them back... about a week after I had surgery.

Now, it wasn't anything drastic. I went back to the much-disliked Dr. Kresge to find out about having the screws removed from my R leg... and he was all "No problem, that probably will ease things up for you greatly... when would you like to do it?" So I was able to schedule it not exactly when I wanted (at the very beginning of the PTO I had coming up) but not too far before then.

Of course, nothing can EVER go as planned for me. I got back to work after having my PTO/recovery time from the leg surgery, right? Then came a lab I was really looking forward to in class - tactical EMS. Essentially a self-defense course for EMS personnel. Liss and I ended up paired with each other for a knife attack scenario about an hour and a half, two hours into class. She was the attacker. I got the cross-arm block fine, no problem. And then... well, I was very enthusiastic. There were mats down on the floor. I was enjoying class a lot. We haven't tussled in a very long time. I was... over-excited with the theme of class, I guess you might say. So instead of going for a "fight dirty" hit to the groin, I went for a leg sweep. Except I swung too far outside and too far forward when I did. Which basically meant she was able to sort of judo me - use my own momentum to force me around and down into the mat, landing around and on top of me. That probably wouldn't've been so bad, except I landed dead on the point of my shoulder. All my weight, and a good chunk of her weight on the point of my shoulder.

Yeah. According to FTMC (thank goodness I'm able to head to FTMC instead of FRMC now) I sustained a first degree separation of my AC joint. For those with a-little-but-not-a-lot of anatomical/injury knowledge, that's sort of a dislocation of the acromioclavicular joint. It's not a shoulder dislocation, since a shoulder dislocation is the glenohumoral joint.

Anyway, I digress. That happened pretty much RIGHT before Solstice, which means it was also right before Christmas. And also lost me an additional week of work, this one unpaid.

Of course, I actually had what could possibly count as a genuine Solstice/Christmas Miracle. My Godmother, whom I probably have not spoken to, nor seen, since my High School Graduation Party, or shortly thereafter, sent me a Christmas Card. A Christmas Card with a Monetary Gift, that was probably rather more than she should've sent. I continue to be in awe of her unexpected generosity.

I'm back to work now -- have been for a little bit, actually. M'leg is actually feeling a bit better... except the interior of my knee. Which they tell me is caused by scar tissue, and because of that cause can probably never be fully resolved. Although it wasn't hurting much with the "not doing much" combined with the "weather cooperating" now that things are back to "normal" I'm back to wearing the brace. Uhm, joy?

We're working midshifts for the moment. But - but! - our clinical time starts at the beginning of February, at which time we're likely going to start working in sets of several double-shifts per week, to free up time for clinical shifts. Oh.... fucking..... joy...... *sigh*

On the one hand? Yes. I get in to a "proper" EMS agency as Medic once everything is said and done after August, I will be working a 24/48 split. And there will be, at least some times, that those 24 hour spans will be busy.

But... that'll be 24 hours of doing something I love, not 24 hours in an environment that I hate, doing a job that I've come to hate.

So, yeah. I think that's pretty much up to date. Monday and Wednesday continue to be my days off, owing to being my usual class days. Midshift on other days, except Saturdays due to lab, until February... then we'll see...</lj>

GrrrrrSigh

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 15:27:07 GMT

So. Yeah. Having the worst couple of weeks I've had in a while. Let's see... it started about a week and a half ago, when we went down to the car to go to work, and the back right tire was completely down. *sigh* Mind you, I desperately need new tires, but affording them? Yeah. So we didn't end up getting to work... we spent the entire evening getting two new tires put on the car, because there was a hella long wait at Wal-Mart. And we spent like $170 we didn't have. I still need two more new tires before winter.

Next... hmm... well I spent another three hundred of our dollars-we-don't-exactly-have... just to find out the Vet doesn't know what's wrong with Dragon. He said he'd "look into some things." Oh, and two of the tests they did? Their equipment is screwed up, so they had to send out to get them done, so who knows when I'll find out anything else.

Broke a half-shaft on the car. So that was a full allotment of unfun, capped off with spending another two-twenty-something that we didn't have to fix the car. Some more.

Liss and I both got demoted. The closest he came to giving either of us a reason was that "I did not see enough of you... I cannot judge what I cannot see." Oh, and after the few remaining times they couldn't rearrange this month's schedule to get us out of it? We're not "allowed" to work EMT shifts anymore. "You were hired as lifeguards, and that is where we need you." Uhm, completely setting aside the fact that we were working full-time guard, and by-and-large our EMT shifts were in addition to those, often with one or the other of us working at least one double a weekend?

We have applications in at North Central EMS. Second we get hired somewhere else, we're gone. And I'm not sure, but I don't think either one of us is even going to give notice at this point...

Oh, yeah, I'm sick. Been puking and running a temp of around 100.2 off-and-on for days now.

I'm also drowning mentally/emotionally right now. Class + trying-to-switch-jobs-because-this-one-am-become-hell + trying-to-find-a-new-apartment...

I totally spend most of my time wanting to cry. I just can't take this. It's too much, too much stress, too much bad luck all at the same time.

As usual I have nothing and no-one.

worried sniffle

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 02:28:58 GMT

I'm calling the vet tomorrow.
We think Dragon is diabetic.
I didn't even know cats (and evidently dogs) could get diabetes.

...

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 15:41:36 GMT

post canceled for lack of enthusiasm and interest

...

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 04:59:31 GMT

I hate my life.

This is new and strange and stupid.

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 03:19:38 GMT

I had a good - very strangely nostalgic - but basically good day.
I am hypomanic wired.
I know (now, finally) that my txts were not answered because my sis did not have her phone with her.
And all of a sudden I am feeling very alone, and nostalgic, and small, and almost afraid, and sad.
Still hypomanic, I won't be sleeping anytime soon so it's fine I just started the laundry, wired.
But all that other stuff as well. And to-the-quick, hardcore feeling it.
Imma go have a smoke sitting on the roof. Or two. Or five.
And then maybe sit in the closet for a while.

It would be bad for me to drink right now, so despite the fact that I don't have to be to work until 3, I'm going to try very hard not to do that.

And I kinda want to cry.

Well that's no fun...

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 02:45:04 GMT

Day off tomorry.
Nobody to play with.
(KT is off along with us, which means the Lissinator will be spending the whole day with her, just them two. Which I can obviously respect. But leaves me nobody to play with.)
Le sigh.
The Park or Soak City would not really be nearly as much fun by myself.
And I can't think of anything else to do - I have, like 3 dollars to my name until pay comes in on Wednesday.
Damnit.

And besides that, I haven't gotten to see KT for more than five minutes at a time in, like, weeks.

Oh dear. It's the upswing...

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 21:56:45 GMT

So. I'm probably (read that as almost certainly) hypomanic right now - may be headed towards a full mania (always hard to tell with me how hard I'm gearing up, especially when I'm exhausted at the same time).

Head buzzing. Was so wired when I got home from work last night I stayed up until about two-thirty (very rare for me these days), initially got up at about 6/6:30 but managed to force myself to stay in bed drifting in and out of uneasy sleep until 10ish. Having small difficulty sitting still some of the time, although tiredness is helping with that. Smoking waaaaaaay too much (and by that I mean more than the "smoking too much" I've fallen into the last week or so). Could not focus on playing a video game this morning. On the other hand, I'm not having the impulse to pace, exactly. Although I feel the need to attach a "yet" to that preceding sentence. Having general difficulty focusing, et al.

I blame... being promoted.

No, really, it makes sense - hear me out:
My sleep schedule is a little bit more out of whack than it was getting (and it was getting out of whack anyway, so I can't entirely blame work, I concede.) My eating schedule is way rearranged. And I'm running around like a rabid little weasel, expending ever so much more energy than I've been accustomed to in recent months. All possible/likely "triggers."

Here's hoping I stay in the hypo- variety of mania... it makes the crash ever so much softer. And (though so very unlikely) sometimes absent.

Uhm, whee?!?

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 23:29:19 GMT

So today I got promoted. Or, rather, today was my first day as a Head Guard. Or maybe it was today, since I think today was the official date on the paperwork. So Yaye! Except OMG so tired now. It's been, I rather think, months since the last time I spent a whole shift running a zone. Or any time at all, really.

Mind you, that doesn't diminish the "It's about time!"-ness of it all. (Quite the contrary, actually, as you probably can well imagine.)

Just, much with the hot, and the tired. Don't think I'm crabby, though.

And there needs to be less under-agers. Srrrrsly. Threw off my break-giving-stride.

Of course part of my zone decided it wanted to be a bitch. Old Flowrider (which is back now, uhm booyah), to be precise. My first pair of knuckleheads decided to get into a huge argument and shut themselves down. My replacement pair of knuckleheads decided to not come back from break until double-or-so a break interval had gone by. And the attraction itself spent a bit of time taking itself down. Grrrrr.

I might've known the tone the day would have when the first item on my walkthrough wasn't up to par. But whatever.

The important thing is that I gots me my blue shirt now.

And a headache. :-/

Wheee!

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 15:19:40 GMT

And thus begins (well, I guess sort of began after work finished yesterday) my four-day vacation.

I need this. I think I need it really badly.

Today is CP. Possibly followed by drinking.

Speaking of drinking?

Talcott! (And anyone else who likes beer) - Have you tried Landshark Lager yet? OMG the goodness!

...

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 10:42:12 GMT

2 Years.

Urg.

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 18:05:20 GMT

Sunburn + Heat + Stress = Sickish, Headache-y Lacy

Booooooooooooooook!

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 13:17:31 GMT

Ok, any of ya'll ever read Twilight?

Somebody's got to have, it's coming out as a movie soon.

Anyway, it's the first book in a series of young adult novels.

And Oh. My. Gawd. Cannot stop reading. Only stopped last night because I fell asleep on top of the book itself.

I keep telling myself "At least it's a vampire story."

I refuse to explain why.

But... dude...

Just... yeah...

Giddy!

sigh

Thu, 22 May 2008 21:04:05 GMT

Absolutely everybody is seeing Indy tonight.
Except me.

I don't know if I feel more left out or disappointed or jealous or what.

And there's no way I'm going to be able to avoid hearing them talk about it before I go, even if I probably get to go on Saturday.

I know I'm not supposed to feel this way; besides everything else, it is just a movie after all.

But I guess it's because it's on top of my having had a really horrible day.

Imma go cry now.

Tust me...

Wed, 07 May 2008 23:44:11 GMT

to find a way to make things more complicated than they need to be. Uhm, I think? OK, yeah, I probably am, but with my luck not in the way that I think - not that making things more complicated than they need to be in the way I think I am is particularly lucky...

I'm babbling, aren't I? Right then, going away.

...

Tue, 06 May 2008 17:27:30 GMT

I feel like a Tom Waits song.

I don't even know what to say...

Tue, 06 May 2008 14:09:50 GMT

There's so much that I don't even know what to say.
Somehow I need to blog, but I don't have words.
Maybe there aren't any.

I really hate stupid people.

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 23:50:40 GMT

http://www.sanduskyregister.com/articles/2008/04/28/front/740860.txt

And yes, I commented.
So did Liss... She's the one who pointed me to the story.